Being pregnant and planning for your birth can be an exciting time in your life, but it also can be very stressful. You have probably noticed people, both in the medical/birth field and out of it, sharing their ideas and opinions of what you should or should not do when it comes to your pregnancy and birth. This can especially become stressful when facing a doctor, care provider, hospital, or even a birthing center that does not value your thoughts and opinions of what you would like to do. Through this article, we are going to help you understand what self-advocacy is and how you can advocate yourself when you are facing these situations.
What is Self-Advocacy?
In short, it’s speaking out. Speaking out about your needs, wants, questions, and other topics that are important to you; especially when it comes to your pregnancy and birth of your child. It is easy to become a people pleaser and do what you care provider asks you to do, even if you don’t agree with it. But when it comes your value system or what you want out of your pregnancy and birth, it is important that your voice is heard, your questions are answered, and your concerns, addressed and respected. Now if your doctor, care provider, hospital, or even birthing center do not want to respect your wishes, you do not have to stay with them. Keep looking around until you can find someone/a place who will respect and hear you and your preferences.
Why is it Important to Advocate for Yourself?
You and your child are very important, you should have the opportunity to have the pregnancy care you desire, the birth support you need, and be respected and supported in that decision. Advocating for yourself can help you achieve your goals and objectives you want in yours and your child’s care. If you don’t, you are going to go through every whim or opinion thrown at you.
This is why it is important to create a birth plan. Having a birth plan can give you a goal or objective that you desire. Through this tool it can encourage you to educate yourself, ask questions, and share what you had in mind for your labor and birth. It gives you a direction on how to advocate for yourself. Here is one of our blogs to help you get started on how to write a birth plan (Why is Writing a Birth Plan Essential?).
It is also important to have your spouse/partner advocate for you on what you would want out of your care and birth. Make sure he can help advocate for you when certain situations arise, such as being in labor and a doctor suggesting different approach than what your birth plan has. It is also important to find a care provider who will also advocate for you and your plan.
How Can I Advocate for Myself?
Listen to Your Inner Voice
Only you know what you truly want and value, no one else can make that decision for you or tell you what yours is. Trust your gut when something doesn’t or does feel right.
Find the Right Provider
Take time to meet different care providers, hospitals, and/or birthing centers. When you meet the individual or walk into the room do you feel safe, valued, and respected. Does this individual or place match and respect what you want for your prenatal care and birth?
Write Down/Ask ALL of your Questions
Part of advocating for yourself is writing down all of your questions. You learn a lot more and get more direction by educating yourself through questions. Asking questions is also a great way to build your birth plan, finding the right care provider for you, and place to give birth at. Especially asking questions that are more open-ended, and not always answered with a “yes” or “no”. When you phrase your questions with “what” or “why” or “how”, it can help your care provider know what you want out of your pregnancy and birth.
Educate Yourself
One of the best tools is to educate yourself on the questions you have, sometimes that can lead to better and more educated questions you can ask your doctor or care provider. This can be through books, podcasts, blogs, medical websites, and even YouTube videos. When you educate yourself about a certain topic, it can help give you a better sense of direction of what kind of care and support you are looking for. It will also help when communicating with your care provider, making better informed decisions and not blindly following every decision your care provider makes for you. To get started, check out our blog about reading books on pregnancy and birth (Benefits of Reading Books on Pregnancy and Birth).
Bring Your Own Support
Bringing someone who can help advocate with you, especially in an area of topic you are not familiar with, can help you when you are learning to advocate for yourself. This person can be your spouse/partner, a family member, or a doula. This can especially be crucial for you when it comes to labor. It is very difficult to advocate for yourself when you going through labor, so make sure you have someone to support you who knows your birth plan and who can advocate for you when you are not able to. This can especially be critical when the care provider who you have been visiting prenatally throughout your pregnancy is not able to make it to your birth.
Remember, this is your body and your baby! Advocate on what’s best for you two. When you do, it will provide you the best care and birth you can possibly have. You are valued and important. At The Utah Birth Place, we strive to hear and respect the wishes of our mothers that birth at our center or receive our care. If you are in Utah County and are looking for some advocacy support, we would love to help you in that journey to provide you the best prenatal and birth care possible!
